Look at Gojira!

Gojira was great and green and had gigantic fangs. Not nearly a dinosaur or a dragon; simply a beast of tremendous size and power. Once, on one of Gojira's holidays from the salon, he groped this gringo with his right incisor. He was immediately sent to France.

From France, Gojira monitored the stock market, the newspapers and the Eiffel tower. Gojira loved the Eiffel tower. Sometimes, when Gojira thought of home he would drop his baguette and call, "Oo Damn, now my bread is dirty."

On Sundays, Gojira vowed that he would break the Eiffel tower in two, if he was allowed home. Gojira assumed the French would value this gesture greatly. In fact, the French were afraid of Gojira. "Prenez Garde! Prenez Garde!" they yelled, pointing at the giant green beast. Gojira thought they wanted to give him paprika.

Gojira lived only on paprika. No water, no food, just mild, red spice. Occasionally, Gojira would spit, burp or sneeze out some paprika. It drove the locals into a frenzy. Even the nice man at the boulangerie stopped touching Gojira. He wanted no part of the "fire- breathing" creature.

Sometimes, late at night, Gojira missed the man from the boulangerie. He would make Jell-O and pour it on the kitchen floor. "Without paprika I'm nothing!" Gojira yelled as he headed to the mail box. There was a letter for Gojira. It read: "Gojira, great green-beast, you may now return home. But never again may you grope a gringo, and you must file your teeth to a dull whisper." His exile had ended.

Being a Sunday, Gojira headed straight for the Eiffel tower. Quick-snap wishbone and it was in two. He dropped it like a broken baguette on the highway. "Oo Damn, now it is broken."

Gojira fled quickly, 66% of France on his heels. In the East, he took flight - soaring above the French masses, winging his way to a land where paprika floats in the air. Mighty, vivacious Gojira laid three eggs in a nest in Switzerland along the way. Luckily, the eggs were unfertilized and provided omelets for seven farmers and their families. "Now I am papa!" Gojira cried, as he floated past the horizon.

Thank you Gojira.

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